Help Me Understand
by Anime-Blackfan-99
Summary: Naruto is in love with one of his classmates, he hates the feelings he causes within him, His friend betrays him as he starts going out with Narutos crush. What will Naruto do? Will things tour out ok? and what revelations will be made? This is Yaoi :D


Hello everyone! This is a very BIG one-shot I wrote cause I was depressed and I had writers block and apparently I felt like writing poetry, by the way I'm no expert in poems but I wrote this one and I like it and please don't be harsh on me! It's only obvious that the Story is about the poem! I know for sure that I have some continuous readers even if not all of you review *looks menacingly* Either way, since my depression has been lessened and I'm happy I'll be very nice and update Decision Making tomorrow :D aren't you all happy? That's the proof that I love you all, and I might even update twice this weekend but I don't promise you anything. I love you all Muahh!*chu

Warning: This is boyxboy! It has explicit content, by the way if you don't like yaoi why did you even click? Well for those who enjoy it and are like mua, I welcome thee into the yaoi world.

Disclaimer: The characters belong to Masashi Kishimoto but they will be mine someday XD Muahahahahhah

Note: I am proud to say that the plot and the actual poem is mine XD comment because if you don't I get no inspiration for writing D: Shun all the writing blocks!

Rating: M (Yes it has what you all want in it, I warn you it is explicit content, or as much as I could squish out of my dirty mind)

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"_Mighty Feeling"_

_You wither under my fingers_

_Understand my desperation _

_Fire burns my lungs _

_Tears run on the inside_

_Lies flow from my lips _

_Why won't you notice?_

_Go live unhappy white lie_

_This is what I have become _

_That ugly monster in the mirror _

_Make it go away _

_Make me feel myself _

_The person I was is no more _

_Mighty feeling you are _

_Scary thing you are _

_Help me understand _

_Why I need you so much_

_Why won't you look my way? _

Naruto's P.O.V

Mornings; the alarm beeps, you have to wake up, like actually get out of bed and change for school. Just tell me how much of a tedious task that is? And that is exactly why, I Naruto Uzumaki hate mornings with all of my heart. I grumbled as I got out of bed and got ready for school, lately life had not been kind. I was in some kind of internal turmoil. The reason, well that's easy, none other than Sasuke Uchiha. The popular boy, the badass boy, the hot one, the school's whore, the one with the ripped perfect abs, ebony colored skin, and black-blue hair, all in all, the heartbreaker.

For some weird reason the popular boy had befriended me a few months ago, yes I admit it I had, had a crush on him for a while and that was pretty much it. A crush, for those who suffer crushes, it might be easy to understand that they just go away as the object of given crush ignores you and well you just get over it. In my unfortunate case tough, the guy got close to me, and that is not helping. How I'm I expected to survive when my given crush has 3 out of 4 classes with me and we eat lunch together. I mean that's just impossible. He being the heartbreaker and all well, he has if you might call it "fun" with lots of people, and yes I mean it in a sexual way.

It's obvious that even when you are not being reciprocated, you feel that bad taste in your mouth, and the uncomfortable nervous feeling when you see your crush sucking the life out of someone else. So therefore, this mighty guy had been the cause of my emotional distress. What maddens me the most is that even though I drool like a lovesick girl when I'm around him, either he does not notice I'm madly in love with him, or he is just being and evil bitch and just keeps me as his friend in purpose. Well now that I think about it it's probably the latter. I eat some breakfast, if you can call the toast and orange juice I had time to eat breakfast, and left for school. As I got on the bus, I got sight of Gaara my archenemy and sat beside him, because well we teenagers are just hypocrite like that once in a while.

"Hey" I greeted him.

"Hey, Naruto" He greeted in a boring tone.

"How was your weekend?" I asked

"Same old, same old" He answered and I chuckled.

"Do you ever plan on getting off the computer?"

"Maybe one day, in a distant future" He answered and I laughed.

"Nice"

"What did you do blondie?"

"What else, homework teachers seem to think we have no life"

"It's a conspiracy" he answered which made me laugh; Gaara always seemed to be able to connect absolutely everything with conspiracies.

"Yes one to kill us all"

"One to kill us all" he repeated, and I finally ventured out to ask the question that I wanted to ask.

"So, no date with Sasuke this weekend?"

" No, he had things to do" he answered

"Oh" was my only response as I stayed quiet for the rest of the ride and headed directly to Mr. Juliards room in order to study for my test.

Gaara had actually been a very good friend of mine. Well he was a really good friend of mine. He moved to Konoha a few months ago, I thought he was cool and well he pretty much gets along with everyone. The only problem, he had gotten a boyfriend, and they were supposedly going out. Still Gaara got really close to Sasuke after we started sitting at his table, true it might have been my fault since I did not tell him about my interest. Still, he had a boyfriend, it was not fair. He couldn't just go around and flirt with other guy when he already had someone. I mean, it's a rule right? Unless you are some kind of slut, well to make the story short he ended up breaking up with his boyfriend and hooked up with Sasuke now.

I stared blankly at my notes, after all I was supposed to study. In reality I was not in the mood, I laid my head on the desk and gave a big sight.

"Somebody seems to be stressed" the deep sensual voice sounded, oh damn now I hear his voice with all those special effects people in movies feel.

"Hey Sasuke" I answered back lazily, as I looked up to see him, in his perfect model outfit.

"What's wrong" he sat down in front of me and looked inquiringly.

"What makes you feel something's wrong?"

"Well you have been acting a bit weird recently"

"Not really, I'm just going insane from homework overload" He smiled at that.

"Aren't we all" He rolled his eyes

"You, don't seem tired at all!" I complained

"That is because I, have fun unlike others"

"Oh Sasuke, not everyone can go around hooking up with the first person he sees!"

"Are you calling me a slut?" I blushed

"Of course not, I'm saying you are lucky enough to have all those people behind you"

"You don't stay far behind Naruto" I rolled my eyes

"Don't be nice, Sasuke"

"I'm not, we can have fun anytime" he winked, I knew he was kidding, but it was not fair, I wondered how long I could keep on lying.

"You're not my type" I blurted, he looked at me with a look that read, are-you-serious, and I chuckled, conceited bastard.

"Why not?"

"Let's just say I don't go out with guys that have too much fun"

"You're discriminating me!" he huffed. I laughed, and he smirked.

"Well it's not like I'm going out with you for real's"…Well ouch, that hurts, I knew he was kidding but isn't that a bit too much?

"Fine with me" I mumbled.

"So, Naruto stop lying to me what's wrong?"

"There's nothing wrong with me!" I snapped.

"You're attitude tells me something else" the perceptive bastard.

"Its just boy's trouble Sasuke ok? Just let me deal with it myself"

"I can help you"

"No you can't" I answered knowingly, as the bell rang and I left for my first period class.

During first period I just doodled on my notebook as I took some notes, and thought about well, what else Sasuke. I was starting to get scared of this stalkerish attitude of mine. Second period with Sasuke went by smoothly, he didn't talk to me; guess he was mad at me for leaving him alone this morning. By the time we got to lunch I was ready to like literally just go home and die. I know I am being all emo but hey, I can't help the mood swings in actuality I do feel like a girl. By the time I got to the table with the poisonous looking food they dare call lunch, Gaara was already sitting besides Sasuke engaged in conversation. That used to be my seat before Gaara became Sasuke's given property.

I sat down and kiba, barked at me

"What's wrong Naruto?"

"Question of the day" I mumbled, annoyed.

"Hey don't snap at me"

"Leave him alone Kiba, he's in a bad mood" Sasuke mumbled not even looking my way. I stared numbly at my poisonous food, as Kiba just shrugged and turned to talk to somebody else.

"Naruto, Sasuke, want to get together to study for the History final?" Asked Gaara, who was also poking his food, I looked up and smiled, or attempted to at least.

"Sure, when?"

"I can't today or tomorrow, and you can't either Gaara" Sasuke commented

"Why?" Asked Gaara.

"Remember I told you, I would take you somewhere" Seriously, like I wanted to hear Sasuke's and Gaaras plans.

"Hey then you guys go out together and we will meet in my house in three days. That's cool with both of you?" I asked cheerily, I had to compose myself before everyone noticed.

"Sounds ok" both of them answered.

"Naruto!" I heard and turned around to see Hinata coming my way.

"Hey Hinata" I smiled at her, if there was a girl that could cheer me up it was her.

"Naruto, you would never guess who is coming to great Konoha City!"

"Who?" I asked, to be honest Hinata could never bring me bad news.

"Shinee! Can you believe it, we definitely have to go watch them!" I stared at her I loved that band.

"Hinata! It's definitely our new mission, we got to get the money for the tickets, I don't care if I have to give half my arm!" Hinata sat down beside me and then chuckled

"Or we could go prostitute ourselves in the famous corner" Everyone in the table laughed at Hinata's comment.

"Why don't you just ask your parents?" Asked Gaara, with an incredulous gaze.

"Because dear Gaara, the tickets cost a lot, and our parents are not going to give us all that money" Answered Hinata, she had actually never liked Gaara, I don't know why, intuition maybe?

"Don't worry Hinata we will get that money"

The three days went by fast enough, full of fake smiles, lots of homework, and cookie selling in order to achieve the needed money to go watch Shinee. The thought of Shinee cheered me up a whole lot. Sooner or later tough I had to confront Sasuke and Gaara on that fated history meeting I had stupidly stuck myself in. Sasuke was currently sitting on my living room, with Gaara besides him and a big History book in their laps. Sasuke was looking at it with disgust as if it had slept with his boyfriend. Gaara was giving Sasuke a funny look. And I, well I was just attempting to get something in my head other than how sasuke looked each time he bit his lip when he didn't understand. Was he trying to drive me insane? I bit the end of my pencil as I tried to remember all the damn alphabetical soup of acronyms Franklin Delano Roosevelt created during the depression in the 1930's. Was the teacher seriously expecting me to learn this?

"Naruto, can I grab some water?" Asked Gaara.

"Oh, I'll bring us all something to drink, I have some lemonade is that ok?"

"Sure" Answered Gaara, while Sasuke just shrugged.

I stood up and headed to the kitchen, what was I thinking when I said yes? I poured some lemonade on the glasses and took the first two so that I wouldn't drop the third one. Afterwards I headed back to the living room. But I just stood at the entrance for about 5 minutes, just staring at how sasuke was sensually kissing Gaara, grabbing his waist and pulling him closer and caressing his face slowly and caringly with his other hand. My hands trembled and my eyes stung, it felt as if I had just been dropped from a roller coaster and crashed down on the ground.

I quickly backed away, left the glasses on the kitchen table, and ran up to my room, slid through the door and on to the floor, my hands rubbed my face and pulled at my hair, as tears ran down my face. I didn't want to hurt, I had no right to be jealous but I was, I had no right to feel that I was better than Gaara but I still thought I could be so much better. I had no right to curse them and hate them for kissing each other. I just wanted to be the outgoing, joker I had been before Sasuke had come close to me. Why? When I liked him so much did he cause me so much pain? This is not fair, what have I become, nothing but a mass of jealousy and curses. I want to have him. I have to have him, or at least get away from him and stop looking at him with others.

He messes with my head, makes me feel like a bad person, he makes me unhappy, and still the thought of not being friends with him assails me as a horrible option. I kept on trying to wipe my tears away but they just kept coming on. The burning feeling of jealousy assailed me, as I kept on going back to that image I had seen on the living room. After twenty minutes of trying to make myself presentable, meaning making the tear stains go away, without any interruption I wondered if Sasuke wasn't fucking Gaara on my living room. Which made me in fact shudder, I shouldn't be thinking about that.

When I finally went downstairs Sasuke looked inquiringly at me.

"I had a call" I answered, noticing that they had gone pick up the glasses of lemonade from the kitchen.

"And who may the mysterious caller be?" Asked Gaara.

"No one special"

The afternoon went just painfully slowly as we studied, finally they left my house, and I in a rash impulse called Sasuke's phone and asked him to come back. When he arrived, we just sat down on the couch, staring at one another. I had to do this; I had to tell him about this feeling before it finished tearing me into little pieces.

"Just tell me what it is Naruto!" Exclaimed Sasuke, clearly exasperated by the silence, and for some reason I just got mad and snapped at him.

"If you don't want to hear me then just leave!" I screamed at him.

"Now I am at fault for your lack of words? We all know something's been up with you for a while, but you won't tell, just spill it! Stop being a drama queen and just say it, man up!" I stared at him.

"If my mood bothers you so much then I just have to sit elsewhere and stop bothering you then!"

"Oh don't get all mad with me Naruto, ever since I started going out with Gaara you have been insufferable" I just couldn't believe he had said that.

"I,…You know what Sasuke, it was my mistake, just go home" I turned and started to head to my room.

"No, now you tell me!" He said as he grabbed my hand and turned me, he stared at the tears running down my face.

"If you can't take on my moods, then you clearly can't take on my problems Sasuke, I'm not your responsibility, Gaara is. And if you two have been hanging out with me out of pity then stop, I don't want your pity; you know what I never wanted it. It would have been better if you had just never talked to me, I don't belong in your group of friends I never will"

"Is that what you wanted to say" He asked his voice ice cold. I shuddered.

"Yes, now leave, just leave me alone" He didn't even protest as he left my house and I collapse into a fit of tears.

The next two weeks I sat down with Hinata, I just kept on going back to it, he hadn't cared at all. He hadn't protested. While I just couldn't stop thinking about it, he was probably enjoying himself. He wouldn't even look at me. I had been nothing to him, while he was everything to me. Until that fateful day when I went down to the store to buy some napkins, I saw it, what I never thought I would see. Gaara was actually cheating on Sasuke, he was kissing another guy, I was pretty sure I had seen him somewhere else. What shocked me the most was that, the man kissing another guy in front of me was cheating on Sasuke, the one I would give everything for. It had been nothing but a waste. Gaara was a hypocrite; he was nothing but a guy pretending to be a nice person. I had been fooled enough to think he had actually fallen for Sasuke.

I went back to my house and wondered if I should tell Sasuke, it was my opportunity. In the end I had acted like a jerk to him, why would he believe me? I had lost him…

Hinata called that afternoon, to ask me to a party, I was desperate enough to find a distraction, so I said yes. Got into the best outfit that expressed "I want to get laid" and left for the party, fuck chastity I was getting some tonight. Still when I got there I found out Sasuke and Gaara were there too. I started drinking like crazy, which is never a good mix, going into the dance floor was the last straw, this guy started to get close to me, more like he was grinding into me when we were dancing, and I really didn't give a shit anymore, nothing made sense anymore. I turned grabbed the brunette by the neck and kissed him, he definitely did not mind as he got closer to me in order to get more access. He somehow managed to get me out of the dance floor and into the rooms, but all of them were 'occupied'. When we opened the third room, I saw sasuke there, hands on his hair looking lost, confused. He looked up at me, his eyes widened as he saw me and my partner and he just turned to the side.

"I'll be leaving, so you can have the room" As drunk as I was, I couldn't take it, something had happened. I couldn't leave him to deal with it on his own. I turned to the guy I was dancing with and told him he had to go. He gave me and incredulous look, but after he saw I was serious, he left, he was mad of course. Sasuke gave me another questioning look as I practically shunned my partner. I slowly advanced into the room, and sat down beside him, carefully placed my hand on top of his and asked.

"What's wrong?"

"Why are you doing this?" He retorted numbly.

"Doing what?"

"Being nice, after what I did"

"Because you're my friend and I care"

"Maybe it would have been better if I had gone out with you and not with Gaara" he mumbled, and my heart raced.

"Sasuke, are you sure you're talking coherently?"

"Gaara cheated on me, well"

"Sasuke, you can get any man, you don't have to suffer over Gaara"

"Can I get you?" He asked, and it annoyed me, this was no time to play, I was mad at myself for falling for the jerk, mad at Gaara for being a hypocritical bitch that hurt the person I love, and mad at Sasuke for always joking around like that.

"Stop it Sasuke, I'm trying to be nice here!"

"I'm trying to be honest for once!" I stared at him.

"What are you talking about?"

"Gaara told me, you had a boyfriend, that you loved him without preambles. That you would pay attention to no one but him, when I told Gaara I liked you he told me it would have been impossible. That you were too much into your boyfriend to pay attention to me, he told me I could be nothing but a friend, so I turned for comfort towards Gaara he was more than willing to give it to me. It was not the same, when your weird moods started he told me it was because your boyfriend had seen us together and I had caused you trouble. That's why; when you asked me to get away from you I could do nothing but comply"

I stared blankly at Sasuke; it had all been Gaara's plot. He knew I liked Sasuke, he knew I wanted him, and because I wanted him, Gaara had taken him. The bastard! Tears started to run freely. One thought stuck to my head, Sasuke did want to go out with me…

"Did you ever thought about asking me if I had a boyfriend"

"Naruto, I just didn't want to hear it from you, it would have been…"

"Devastating…" I finished for him

"The same devastating feeling I got when I learned you had started to go out with Gaara" I spat.

"I am so sorry, I had no idea he was lying"

"Do you have any idea of how this has been screwing with my mind?" I screamed, trying hard not to start hitting him. But I didn't have a chance to even consider it. Because his lips were on mine, and every feeling I had gotten of hatred, or revenge left my being, as I kissed back with passion. Our hands intertwined on each other's hair. We separated due to the need of air, but it's like venom, I can't stop kissing him.

Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe the lust, maybe desire, maybe the inexplicable feeling that had taken over me for the last months. I couldn't think about nothing but Sasuke Uchiha in that moment, him and his very skilled mouth. He kept whispering he was sorry in-between kisses as his hands lightly touched my abdomen and slipped upwards, snaking my shirt off. I did the same to his shirt, desperate to touch his skin, and for him to touch me. His mouth moved from my mouth to my cheek and followed into my neck, sucking lightly, sensually, his hands no caressing my back slowly. Meanwhile I explored his incredible and sexy abs, and moaned lowly at the pleasure his kisses brought. He turned me around and slowly pushed me into the bed, getting on top of me and proceeding to lick my nipples, sucking at them, I writhed under him. My eyes half lidded looked up at his beautiful face, full of emotions. Emotions I hoped only I could place there, and if it was not like that I would make it happen.

In a rash movement, I pushed him and laid on top on him, he seemed to be taken by surprise, but then I started licking down his abdomen, and slowly unzipped his pants. His eyes widened as I took out his very well endowed member, and licked the tip carefully.

"Fuck, Naruto!" He attempted to shove his hips upward but I stopped him as I swallowed all of his member, his hands started pulling at my hair. I licked, and sucked, finding a motion that seemed to drive him crazy. But he stopped me, he pulled my face away from his member, and kissed me with fervor, tasting his own pre-cum. Biting, sucking and pulling at my lips. Then, more harshly throwing me into the bed and pulling my pants off. Placing his hand on my member and pumping slowly as he kissed my face softly.

"Naruto, you have beautiful blue eyes" He placed a caring kiss on my eyelids as I led out a strangled moan.

"I love it when you get jealous, and I enjoy foxing that ass of yours when you walk" I gave a strangled mix of a moan and a chuckle as his pace got faster and he kept kissing me.

"Sasuke!"

"I want you" he whispered on my ear, and I went undone

"Then take me" I whispered desperately as I lay completely on the bed and spread myself for him.

His eyes darkened with lust as he placed little kisses down my abdomen, and kept going down purposely skipping my dripping member, continuing on my tights. Three of his fingers were placed in front of my mouth, and I sucked them as if my life depended on it.

"Damn, Naruto! We will have to put that mouth of yours to use later" I chuckled

"You're not getting anything until you prove it's worth my while" I moaned as he inserted the first finger through my opening.

"I'll make sure you can't be satisfied with no one but me when I'm done" Sasuke whispered sensually on my ear, as his finger pushed against something that made me see stars.

"Ahh! Sas-please more" He kissed my neck as he added another finger and I eagerly pushed against it.

"You—ah dummy, I can be satisfied with you even if you—mmm don't do this" He chuckled.

"I like it this way you rather seem to enjoy it" He said as he rammed his fingers and I screamed from the pleasure.

"Damn it to hell, stop being a tease and fuck me already" I exclaimed as I ran my hands through his chest.

"Oh no naruto, I'm not just going to 'fuck' you, I'm going to make you mine" He whispered as he placed his erection through my entrance.

"Sasuke!" I whined as I pushed down and he entered, the intrusion was big, and I screamed, from both, pleasure and pain.

"AH!"

"Oh, Naruto, you're so damn tight" Sasuke exclaimed as he drew my body closer and kissed me slowly and caringly waiting for me do adjust. When the pain dimmed, I pushed myself down onto him and he buried his face on my neck moaning, as I threw my head back enjoying his heat, the euphoria.

"Move!" I whined, and he complied, soon finding a steady rhythm. I whimpered at the amazing feeling as I pushed back on to him, grabbing his back and clawing at it by now all effects of the alcohol were gone, this was only me and Sasuke.

"Yes! More"

"Naruto"

"Sasuke!" I moaned as he started to ram into me, every kiss felt like I was sharing his soul, his smooth face then going back into the crook of my neck biting and moaning, he started to pump my erection, as I became a mess of noises.

"Faster—Ah I can't!" I moaned as I came extremely close to release, heavenly and euphoric. We forgot our rhythm and went straight into raw lovemaking, wild, crazed, beautiful and fuking amazing. Then finally the feeling of burning heat attacked my whole being as we both came.

"Naruto!"

"Ah—Sasuke!"

He fell besides me and dragged me close to his body.

"Mighty feeling you cause me" I whispered

"What feeling might that be?" he whispered tiredly.

"I think its love" I could feel his smile.

"Good, because now I'm not letting go"

"Took you long enough teme"

THE END.

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So what did you all think? Was it any good I hope you all like it! Its my little gift for those who reviewed on my other story, and also this helped a lot with my current depression and writers block because after all it did have a happy ending! XD. Lolz, either way I hope you all liked it, remember the poem is mine too so you can comment on it! :P Well that's it for now, please be nice to me and give me some reviews because then I fall into depression again and decide not to write D: Well either way, I love you all! Yes and I mean you all my amazing reviewers at least those who do: P

Ja Ne

Chio:D


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